He smiled slowly. It would kill him, but damn if she wasn’t worth it. She was tight and hot, fitting him perfectly, gripping his c**k like a silken glove and making him work to fit the entire length inside her. No matter how slick and wet she got she was fist-tight around his bursting erection. Not that he was overly large, but he wasn’t lacking either.
He watched her, his heart heavy now, his emotions as jumbled together as his desires were. God alone knew how much he loved her. Loved her until his heart had ripped from his chest when he thought she was dead. He hadn’t wanted to live, hadn’t wanted to go on, it had hurt so bad to be without her. Every cell of his body had mourned her for eleven long, empty years. The night she had stepped from the shadows in Sandy Hook he had breathed for the first time since losing her. His heart had begun beating again, blood refreshing his body, reminding him he was indeed alive after that long emotional hibernation he had gone into. Suddenly, nothing else had mattered but touching her, holding her. Being a part of her. And she had hated him. He had seen it in her eyes, a pain that darkened the soul, a fury he could never extinguish by himself. He grimaced at the reasons behind it. Surging to his feet he pulled a pair of loose jogging pants on, wincing as his c**k tented the fabric away from his body.
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Pacing to the balcony doors he stared into the darkness silently. She had lost their child, been raped, had suffered through a reaction to the drugs the scientists had given her with such violence it had nearly killed her. And even after the escape her torment hadn’t been over. She had endured years of building arousal so intense the physical pain was destructive. She had suffered in ways he could never imagine, and sometimes he wondered if it would ever end. Kane crossed his arms over his chest as he sighed wearily. He had forced her into accepting the mating heat. Had taken her kiss, knowing she would have no choice after the hormone was shared between them. Was he any better than the guards who had raped her in those labs?
“Kane.” He turned quickly to her voice.
She lay watching him, her green eyes darkening as she glimpsed his aroused body.
“You’re hurting,” she said softly, moving to pull the blankets back from her na**d body.
“No.” He was there before she could finish the move. “You should sleep, baby. You’re exhausted.”
She frowned in confusion. “You’re aroused, Kane.”
“I’ve been aroused for the last eleven years.” He grinned wryly. “A few more hours won’t hurt me.”
Her gaze flickered with emotion before it was quickly shielded by the thick, white-blonde lashes he so loved.
“What if it doesn’t go away for you?” she asked him. “How can you bear it, Kane?”
Shaking his head he moved beside her, propping his shoulders against the headboard as he pulled her against his chest. She resisted for a second before sprawling over him as he wanted. Almost boneless, like the lazy little cat she should be, he thought with a grin. It wouldn’t bother him if she was draped across him twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
“Sherra, I’ve been like this since before our first kiss. I have a lot of time to make up for. It will be quite a while before we’ve slaked the hunger that’s built up over the years,” he told her with a thread of amusement. “Don’t you worry about me. Worry about you for now. I don’t want you hurting anymore. I can’t stand to see the arousal and the need shadowing your eyes when there’s nothing I want more than to ease it however I can.”
He kissed the top of her head, male pride filling his chest at the tangled condition of her hair. His fingers had messed it up, had torn it from the neat braid she normally kept it in. Her body was sexily boneless, warm and satiny against his flesh. His balls tightened with the need to make her scream his name again. She was silent for long moments, thinking. That worried him. Sherra never failed to piss him off when she started thinking. The woman’s mind was like a steel trap, sharp and always effective as hell. But she was a female and he’d be damned if he could make sense of a female’s mind at the best of times. Maybe f**king her wasn’t a bad idea. At least then she would stop thinking.
“I thought you left me,” she finally said, her voice low, thick with emotion. “For so long, I thought you had just left. At first, it hurt, but I had the baby…” Her voice broke as his arms tightened around her.
Everything in Kane shattered again at the pain in her voice. He buried his head in her hair and fought the emotion ripping through him.
“I could have survived with our baby, Kane,” she whispered. “I dreamed of a little boy that looked like you, that laughed like you.” He could hear the regret, soul-deep, the dreams she had buried so far inside her. “I died in those labs, Kane. You can’t resurrect something that no longer has life.”
Kane shook his head, a whisper of a smile crossing his lips. Yep, female logic sucked, he thought, not for the first time. And this woman’s was sure to drive him insane.
“Sherra, baby, I’m sure as hell you believe every word that just came out of your mouth,” he finally said gently. “But that’s the biggest crock of bull I ever heard in my life.”
She stiffened and would have risen from his chest if he hadn’t held her still.
“Stay right the hell where you are before I fill your mouth with my dick, so I don’t have to listen to such nonsense,” he warned her. “Dead, my ass. If you were dead, Sherra, you wouldn’t ache. You wouldn’t hurt. You wouldn’t give a damn how hot and horny I got or whether or not that sizzling hormone you put out would hurt me. You would f**k the hell out of me, get off and be done with it.”
He could feel the anger building in her. Better the anger than that damned certainty that there was no love left within her. He wouldn’t accept that. He wouldn’t let her accept that.
“You’re such an ass**le, Kane.” She jerked back from him, her eyes glittering fury. “Do you have to think you’re always right? You haven’t survived these years with me…”
“I would have,” he snarled back at her, amazed at how quickly his lust was beginning to build now. “I wasn’t with you by your choice, Sherra. You decided not to let me know. You decided to let me believe you were dead. You decided, baby, so don’t even attempt to discredit me because I wasn’t with you.”